Using pen knifes to carve smiles onto teddies

Coalition assemble: Cameron chillaxs with the Avengers in a battle-torn New York City.

A new book by Francis Elliott and James Hanning has painted a very personal picture of David Cameron. Entitled "Cameron: Practically a Conservative", it details Cameron's childhood, his rise through the Tory ranks and gives a rare insight into the personal life of Britain's most important man. However it is also given ammunition to both the Labour opposition and the media to accuse Cameron of too much "chillaxing", claiming that he is not as dedicated to the premiership as he should be. Couple this with the claim from Barack Obama that Cameron "sneaked off" from the recent NATO summit in Chicago for a spot of sight-seeing, and it does not look good for Dave.

For a while now, there has been an effort to make politicians look more human and more cuddly, like using a pen knife to carve a smile onto a battered teddy bear. This is something I picked up on during the London mayoral election and my views are the same now as they were then: stop criticising politicians for being normal human beings.

I hate the idea that politicians should be painted as some kind of saint because they are an elected representative. If they are acting unlawfully, this is ok: judge them and take them to the stocks. But mocking Cameron for his lazy Sundays? Or as Labour quipped today in the Commons, Cameron's three or four glasses of wine with Sunday lunch? The man is running the country so give him some breathing room. If I was running the country I would probably drink three or four bottles before breakfast.

My favourite quote has come from Labour backbencher, John Mann who said to the Guardian:

"The prime minister should be totally focused on a plan for jobs and growth rather than playing computer games on his iPad." 

Economic opinions aside, Mann seems to have this idea of an eight-year old boy being given the keys to Chequers and asked to be the prime minister. Sitting up in his lush countryside bedroom, furiously slashing his fingers across his iPad screen whilst shouting "I AM FRUIT NINJA".

There was even an attempt to point fingers at Cameron for having a weekly date night with his wife Samantha. God forbid that Dave is a human being in a relationship with a woman. Damn him for spending some time with the mother of his child. Kick him, kick him in the nads!

One day, I pray the world will wake up and stop being stupid. In a week where the G8 held important talks over the future of Afghanistan, the Eurozone crisis continues to rumble on and the Beecroft Report proposals to allow companies to "fire people at will", Cameron's love for singing My Way by Frank Sinatra is completely irrelevant. Criticise him for a genuine reason, please?

Boris vs Ken: the political Hell in a Cell

The London mayoral election has been something of a political Hell in a Cell, with two men delivering verbal chair shots and sledgehammers to the skull. They even went nose-to-nose in a lift, whilst Boris shouted at Ken: "You are a fucking liar!"

It made me think that whilst politics should be a case of substance over style, I cannot help but enjoy a bloody political grudge match. Politicians go to all kinds of trouble to seem kind and good-natured and respectful of everyone and everything. They shake hands with commoners in the street, kiss babies on the forehead, or eat a sausage roll in Greggs. Even when they lose, they say how disappointed they are, but how happy they were to lose to a candidate of such remarkable stature. Boris and Ken are not immune to this. Whilst they faced each other down in the lift journey from hell for Lib Dem candidate, Brian Paddick, they were en-route to a photo opportunity on a sixth floor terrace. No doubt they shook hands and tightened their grip to make the other squirm through their toothy, false smiles.

If a politician does not like another, we tend to know already. So why do they hide it? Out of fear of losing voters? In the past, there have been times when a politician losing their rag has helped them. When Gordon Brown was revealed to have some "anger issues" in 2010, his approval ratings actually increased. When John Prescott punched a man who egged him in the face, people liked him more. Now I am not saying that Cameron in the face of depressing polls should Hulk up and boot-stomp the closest protester. As fun as that would be to watch, it is a tad over the top.

The point is at a time when the million dollar question in politics is "how do we look more human," the answer is not look awkward in a Greggs, whilst Ed Balls, with his jacket over his shoulder, buys the guys some pasties. Politicians should not be so afraid to look naturally human. They should not worry about making sure their tie matches their mood ring, out of fear that the Daily Mail reports on it (you can imagine the headline now: HYPOCRITE CLEGG WEARS CALM BLUE TIE WHEN RING SHOWS MODERATE ANGER).

To me, the battle for London is one of the most exciting elections of the past decade. It has people talking about it which is always a good thing. Even if they are talking about a bust-up in a lift, it inevitably leads to discussion about why they had the bust-up and that leads to the issues, the substance over the style. Not every election should be modelled in the same way as this one, because democracy would suffer from the negativity and personal nature of this politics, especially when two candidates have a genuine respect for each other. But if the opportunity arose for David Cameron and Ed Miliband to settle the next general election in a steel cage, it would take an unfortunate collision with a bus to stop me from watching.